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“I’m Going to College – Not You!”
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Get your homework done. Mine included my selfish queries into the various schools school colors I then encouraged my daughter to choose the school whose colors I looked good in. I am only kidding a little. Deep purple and black did look great on me. I wish I had had this book then She offers a collection of essays from both perspectives.
Parents recall the process as the "last dance of parenting" because of the implication that where a child goes to college is somehow a reflection on the parent.
Essays range from hilarious to painful as parents confess to being whipsawed by emotions, sometimes making the process more about themselves than their children, and mixing in memories of their own benighted college selection process. Admissions professionals, with a far broader perspective, offer calm and solid advice on how to help without taking over the process and how to find the best fit for the student.
Among the contributors, reflecting on everything from the beginning application process through move-in day, are Anna Quindlen, Jane Hamilton, and theNeurotic Parent blogger as well as … More…. If so, what would those things be I know in my case, I would probably be less strict about bed time, such a source of anxiety with every stroke of the minute-hand. Or is it more of a mindset change?
I think having bright lines and boundaries really worked for us, that it made our kids strong and secure because they were clear on expectations and responsibilities. But I wish I had been better able to combine that with letting things go a little bit.
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Nobody really needs a bath every night. Nobody really needs a balanced meal for every meal.
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I should have let the freak flag fly a bit more. I wish I could have been a bit more B plus, for my sake and their own.
How is it different from girls? It seems that we have taught our girls to be independent by example, by working, by closing the gender gap. Where does this leave boys?
Raising feminist sons was the linchpin of my life. It really worked and, as Chris sometimes says, chicks dig it. With your daughter you can tell her to fight the power. With sons, you are asking them to forego power that will be theirs simply by accident of birth. You just have to tell them that an egalitarian world works better for everyone. And their generation really seems to get that. The milennials have such a sense of tolerance and balance. Takeout is a godsend, and neatness is overrated.
So are meetings; most office meetings are busy work and should be outlawed.
The Best Part of Parenting
You get twice as much from someone who is permitted to work at home. When in doubt, choose the kids. There will be plenty of time later to choose the work. And, by the way, I have never been asked about balance by a guy, only by women. Guys still believe they will balance work and family by getting married.